Ristoons

Touchdown reception of a human skull —
suggested by “Football Is Life And Death”.

Finding an almost perfect ice cream cone —

suggested by “Always Looking For Something Better”.

I have a bee on my nose and I have no arms —

suggested by “Gradually Helpless”.

Slowly turning myself into soup —

suggested by “Vegetarian”.

Playing hockey with myself —

suggested by “Tripping Crosby”.

Our bodiless Santa ornament —

suggested by “Expert Collector”.

Breastfeeding my gnomes —

suggested by “Mother Of Five”.

Two birds relaxing in a pond —

suggested by “Everything Is Dinner”.

Being my dog’s bitch —

suggested by “Dog Lover”.

Smacking the gnome —

suggested by “Tiger Woods Fan Boy”.